My son is two. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is a mathematical correlation between a two-year old and the word No. Maybe it’s because there are two letters in the word No. Whatever the reason, my son believes that No is the holy grail of the English language. He worships at the altar of No. And his Nos seem frequently based on my asset, which is just weird. A typical conversation:
SON: Dwah!
ME: Okay, let’s draw.
SON: No dwah! More owange!
ME: Okay, I’ll get you more orange.
SON: No owange! Woom?
ME: Okay, let’s go play in your room.
SON: No woom!
Then there’s the – I’m sure – quite common rebuttal to any question or statement:
ME: Do you want some apple?
SON: No apple!
ME: Do you want to read?
SON: No weed!
ME: Time to sleep!
SON: No sweep!
ME: Come on – we’re going to have fun!
SON: No fun!
He must be destined for life as an academic. And then there is the dramatic head-wagging back and forth, apropos of absolutely nothing, while issuing a refrain of “no no no no no no no no” in various intonations. “Yes” is just not part of his vocabulary. We’ve gotten a few “yeahs” in the past, but for the most part he is All About The No. When he actually does want something, he just repeats the noun:
ME: Do you want some crackers?
SON: Cwagoah!
ME: Do you want some milk?
SON: Milk!
ME: Do you want to go to the park?
SON: Pahk!
The good news is that we know quite clearly what he wants and doesn’t want, which is a highly useful thing to know when you’re dealing with a toddler. I imagine this whole communication thing will be MUCH easier when he’s a teenager, right? Right? Helloooo?? Hey, why are you laughing?
Oh, I’m laughing because it’s funny, and it’s funny because it’s true. Wait, I mean: “no true!” Now, more ‘dis! Wait: “no more ‘dis!” Oh, I just want to sleep…. Wait: “no sweep!” Sleep, o sweet sleep…..
Love it! And I do remember last time you visited that he didn’t really say yes much! LOL!